Tough

My new life motto:
If you're going to be stupid, you'll have to be tough.

Went camping with the kids last weekend.

At 3pm, we pitched our tent in the ideal location.  At 8pm (after dark), we noticed the floodlight shining directly on it.

At 6pm, we left home with sleeping bags, toilettries and change of clothing.  At 9pm, we realized we had forgotten jackets.  At 10pm, we noticed that we had forgotten pillows.  At 7am, we wished we had remembered socks.

We loved the week-end.  We were tough.

Ball in my ear

Dad: Son, where's the ball we were playing with the other day? Let's play again today.
2yo: I don't know where it is.
Dad: Where did it go?
2yo: I know. It's in my ear.
Dad: <chuckling> No. It's not in your ear. Where is it?
2yo: <getting frustrated> It's in my ear.

Toad Biking

I had biked about 15 miles when I stopped for a moment to adjust my equipment.  The remote country road had no shoulder, so I was perched over the saddle about a foot or so into the road with my left foot clipped in and my whole apparatus leaning to the right.  Meanwhile, my left hand was zipping the underseat pouch, and my right had held my phone (which was tracking mileage and speed).

During the 2 minutes that I was stopped there, a couple cars passed me from behind.  As I was about to finish my tinkering, get a drink, and mount up again, I heard a vehicle slowing to a stop behind me.

"Oh, how nice," I thought, "someone has stopped to see if I need help."

No, I was wrong.

The angry lady knitting her brow in the pilot-seat of the slowing truck only wanted to issue me a warning,

"Get yourself a toad!!" she hollered.  And then she was gone--speeding up and turning to the right.

"Weird," I thought.  "A toad?"  "Why is she so angry anyway?"  It was a beautiful day--no toads in sight.  Or, maybe I hadn't heard quite right.  Maybe she didn't say toad--maybe road.  Maybe she wanted me to get off the road.  Well, that would explain her anger.  But I couldn't stop hearing the angry bark, "Get yourself a toad!" and giggling the rest of the way home.